Why None of my best friends are Women...unless it's my future wife

My best friends are always there for me. They are there when my grandma dies.  They are there when my car is in the shop and I need a ride.  We go on vacation together and eat meals which consist of meat and dessert.  They are there when I had a break-up.  They pick me up when I'm down.  They celebrate with me when we have successes.  I would do everything in my power to help them if they ever needed it.

My best friends are loyal, courageous, a bit crazy and never a dull moment.  But there is something my best friends will never be: women.

I am not saying quit talking to everyone of the opposite sex you are not related.  No, in today's world, you are going to always have to interact with someone of the opposite sex who is not your spouse, sibling, parent or child.

I am saying step back and take a look at your relationships and ask a few questions the next time you are with the opposite sex.

1. Would I want my spouse having this conversation with the opposite sex?
I am a terrible judge of women's fashion and trends.  I don't get it.  I probably never will.  So, yes, I'm going to ask a woman for her opinion on buying jewelry or some other gift.  I'm also going to ask for advice from my mom if I get into an argument with my significant other.

But if I'm having a relationship issue, I'm keeping that to people of the same sex.

One is just so my significant other does not get opened up to gossip and the rumors among friends (and guys talk about other people's relationships, too).

The other is I would never want my significant other to be talking about our problems with one of my friends.  He then is put in the awkward situation of taking sides (terrible idea) or giving advice which he might use to exploit, and not help.

Women also prefer the emotional connection deep conversations offer.  By sharing deeply with them in a personal setting, they also may become vulnerable to feelings.   Keep it to your own gender.  If you need more advice and want perspective from both sexes, then approach a married couple older than you.  They are going to offer more insight than your single, opposite sex friend anyway.

2. Am I asking the opposite sex because I've lost trust in my own gender?
Have you ever heard a woman say this:
"Women are just too much drama.  I prefer talking with guys."
Guys, have you ever thought this:
"Well, my bro's don't want to hear about my problems, and I don't want to come off weak."

Why are you saying these things?  Is it because the past, someone you thought you trusted did not follow through with their end of the bargain, shared with others your problems and it lead to more problems?

People do get burned.  It does hurt.  But are you then reaching out to the opposite sex because you do not want to get hurt?  Reach out.  Try to repair.  It might feel like baby steps.  But in the future, you will be helping your future marriage (see previous question if you need to know why).

3. Have I ever had a romantic attraction to this friend? Have they?  Do I know?
I remember in university I had a couple of friends who were women and I never thought nothing of it.  But then at one point, a woman who I only ever thought of as a friend came and told me she liked me. 

Well, everything after that was just peachy.

No actually it wasn't.  It was painfully awkward, and she eventually ended up not being my friend anymore. 

I thought I was just being nice.  But I think she saw me being a nice guy as something more.  Ladies, I'm sure you have had something like this happen before.  It's the whole "mixed signals" issue. 

The way you can avoid "mixed signals" is just not to have to send signals.

I hope you don't view all your relationships with the opposite sex as scary, now.  No, on the contrary they should be as Scriptures put it:

"Do not rebuke an older man, but appeal to him as a father.  Treat younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters with complete purity."

1 Timothy 5:1-2

But, don't treat your future spouse like your sibling.  That would just be weird.  They're your spouse!