What to Do When No One Notices

I think there is something in the human soul that needs to fulfill a deep longing.  It's the idea we want to make a difference.  It is something small, maybe.  But it is something that people need.  People need people to care, and notice.

Take for instance this blog post.  It will probably be read by one or two actual people.  The rest will be bots, who will try their best to get me to use their service so that this blog will get more page views.  Look, if I wanted pageviews, I'd be on Facebook, blast it to Twitter, and see if marketing would get me somewhere.  But my worth, and everyone's worth for that matter, is not in pageviews, likes, follows, retweets, subscribes or going viral.  It's in just being.

I came across a comment on a post I wrote nearly five years ago and realized it was still getting views.  Why?  Who cares?  What does it matter?  Why do people still look for the same article?

People are lost.  That's why.  People come to the Internet because there are answers.  Why do you think there are less arguments in bars?  People just google answers, that's why.  People are calling our the people who would talk a good game, and putting them in their place.

But there are some things which the Internet will never, ever fulfill.  If you read this post, do you get that?  No matter how much time you spend watching a video, you still aren't with the actual person.  I'm in my third long distance relationship.  I get what it means to be apart.  Skype and FaceTime are not the answer.  It's being in person with someone, device-free, with no distractions that actually means something.

Are you afraid of silence?  Are you afraid of actually having a conversation with a stranger.  It's just easier like and share.  That speaks, right?

No, it doesn't.  It doesn't get people anywhere.  It's not a real relationship.  My uncle and aunt are thousands of miles away.  Seeing their pictures is nice.  It allows me a temporary comfort to think I am a part of their lives.  I'm not.  My cousins couldn't pick me out of a line-up.  Me seeing their life temporarily doesn't do anything for them. They don't notice.

Do you notice?  Do you see the people around you?  Do you know you have a greater purpose beyond fame, fortune and pleasure? Do you know you were made for greater things?  You were made to have an impact!  Do you know you can?  It's not about notice, it's about purpose.

People do notice.  People will miss you when you are gone.  People want to know you as more than the video with the epic fail, the person who has a cool instagram page and even if you hit the big time and have your own show and have millions of followers, you still have more to offer.  And even when everyone notices, will it still be enough to satisfy?

Probably not. Ever.

A Servants of the Word Tribute

I've departed from the ranks of the Servants of the Word, and I wanted to give a fitting farewell speech at the last event I attended. But it never materialized. So, I've written my thoughts and thanks down and decided they would make a good post.

• Thank you, Don DeSmith. You taught me how to water ski. I’m sure I taught you some patients in the process (let’s face it, I started pretty bad) but I thank you for teaching me to persevere and not give up at something, even when I’m bad at it.

• Thank you Brian Laba, for teaching me the finer points of life: ultimate Frisbee, flora and fauna, and how to lead in UCO. The most beneficial experience was seeing you lead by example.

• Thank you Stu Ferguson, for teaching me even though I’m Catholic, I’ll still get to heaven, even if it’s just barely, and being a Christian doesn’t mean being a candy ass.

• Thank you Gary Sacharski, for being brutally honest with me during men’s group, and basically every other time we talked.

• Thank you Steve Clark, for telling me to leave Pittsburgh in the first place. I would have missed out on something special if I didn’t leave.

• To my lounge brothers: Toufic, Luis, and Michi. Thank you! You were real inspirations for me and you always could make me laugh. May the Lord continue to bless you as you move forward in your calls.

• Thank you Dan Keating and Ted Kennedy for showing me the blessings of living life as a man of prayer and order. I have grown a lot in these areas (especially order) because of the example you’ve given me.

• Thank you Joseph Mathias, for being a great roommate. We prayed together, drank together, and were rebuked together. What more could you ask for in a brother in the Lord?

• Finally, thank you Nico Angleys. You’ve been a great mentor and friend over the past years. You were my main influence for my decision to become an affiliate. May the Lord bless you as much as you have been a blessing to me.

It was a special time for me. I'll never forget it!

Getting Distracted?

I think it's really easy to blog about the news. It's always changing, there's always something happening, and there's always the next big thing. Think about this: did you wake up and say, "wow the oil in the gulf has stopped!" Maybe. It was more likely than, "the United States is at war right now." No one really remembers until an article comes out and a general doesn't speak too well of the Commander-in-Chief. (How may people knew General McCrystal was in charge of Afghanistan? Tell the truth!) Or did you wake up and say, "Mel Gibson wanted to burn his girlfriend's house down." Mr. Gibson's meltdown is like watching an episode of America's Wildest Police Chases, but in the long term, that's not going to matter. Afghanistan still should matter, until Lindsey Lohan goes or gets out of jail. Then we'll be moving on yet again.

But what would be a really tough blog. Ferrets. There's this movie PBS created devoted to the topic. But how could people actually live like that?

I stand corrected.


People have the desire in today's day and age to want to distract and remove all hardship and pain. But I've found the times where I learned the most were the times when I got through a hardship. I'd imagine it's the same for you. So let's not get distracted by things like Mel Gibson, Justin Beiber, ferrets, and LeBron James leaving to go to Miami. Let's remember there's still real things happening which require our attention.

It’s Official: I’m getting old

It’s 2010 and I hit a new milestone for my life: 26. I am officially be closer to 30 than 20. I know 30 is the new 20, according to Jay-Z. But to me it seems a bit ridiculous. 30 is still 30. I guess he could be referring to the fact that adulthood seems to be delayed more and more in the developed world. It’s like being able to now keep your parent’s health insurance coverage until 26. So you can smoke, vote, and join the armed forces at 18. You can drink at 21. But please, citizens of the United States, don’t actually try to provide for yourself until the age of 26? Something seems a bit skewed. Jay-Z is probably also saying this so he can keep releasing albums, even though he’s 40. Doesn’t one need to move past money, clothes, and (insert a derogative term for the next word) women at some point. I was a fan of Jay’s back in ’03. He “retired,” which I thought was the right move. Your past the youthfulness required to rap. Good decision. Then he released three more albums. Bad call.

In my mind, I’ve been an adult for the last eight years. But this leads me to my new decisions: I cannot shop at Aeropostle, Abercrombie and Fitch, and--even one of my favorite--American Eagle (A/AF/AE) anymore. On a recent trip to try to find new shoes and to rid myself of the same shorts I’ve had since my freshman year of college, I came across a new observation. I’m looking at the posters of models which advertise A/AF/AE clothing. I notice they look nothing like me. In fact, they look nothing like my peers, either. In greater fact, they look like they have a lot more in common with the students in my high school youth group than any of my friends.

And so it dawns on me. I have reached the age where I am moving on from my own stage of life of an extended adolescence and I have to start making my own adult decisions. I can’t shop where kids go with their mothers, and if I am going to a store where this occurs I stay out of that section. It might be time to look into opening a Roth IRA, and invest in a 401k. Do I need life insurance? Is it time to start dressing in snappy casual more often? Do I need to go to more dinner parties? Eh, I’ll save that for later. I think a rerun of Jersey Shore is coming on MTV.