It’s Official: I’m getting old

It’s 2010 and I hit a new milestone for my life: 26. I am officially be closer to 30 than 20. I know 30 is the new 20, according to Jay-Z. But to me it seems a bit ridiculous. 30 is still 30. I guess he could be referring to the fact that adulthood seems to be delayed more and more in the developed world. It’s like being able to now keep your parent’s health insurance coverage until 26. So you can smoke, vote, and join the armed forces at 18. You can drink at 21. But please, citizens of the United States, don’t actually try to provide for yourself until the age of 26? Something seems a bit skewed. Jay-Z is probably also saying this so he can keep releasing albums, even though he’s 40. Doesn’t one need to move past money, clothes, and (insert a derogative term for the next word) women at some point. I was a fan of Jay’s back in ’03. He “retired,” which I thought was the right move. Your past the youthfulness required to rap. Good decision. Then he released three more albums. Bad call.

In my mind, I’ve been an adult for the last eight years. But this leads me to my new decisions: I cannot shop at Aeropostle, Abercrombie and Fitch, and--even one of my favorite--American Eagle (A/AF/AE) anymore. On a recent trip to try to find new shoes and to rid myself of the same shorts I’ve had since my freshman year of college, I came across a new observation. I’m looking at the posters of models which advertise A/AF/AE clothing. I notice they look nothing like me. In fact, they look nothing like my peers, either. In greater fact, they look like they have a lot more in common with the students in my high school youth group than any of my friends.

And so it dawns on me. I have reached the age where I am moving on from my own stage of life of an extended adolescence and I have to start making my own adult decisions. I can’t shop where kids go with their mothers, and if I am going to a store where this occurs I stay out of that section. It might be time to look into opening a Roth IRA, and invest in a 401k. Do I need life insurance? Is it time to start dressing in snappy casual more often? Do I need to go to more dinner parties? Eh, I’ll save that for later. I think a rerun of Jersey Shore is coming on MTV.